SOCIAL

  • Isolation from friends and relatives
  • Relationships are frequently stormy, start intensely and end abruptly
  • Difficulty in trusting, especially adults
  • Poor anger management and problem-solving skills · Excessive social involvement (to avoid home life)
  • May be passive with peers, or bully peers
  • Engage in exploitive relationships, either as perpetrator or victim
  • Play with peers gets exceedingly rough

PHYSICAL

  • Somatic complaints (headaches, stomachaches)
  • Nervous, anxious, and short attention span (frequently misdiagnosed as being Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder)
  • Tired, lethargic
  • Frequently ill
  • Poor personal hygiene
  • Regression in developzment tasks (bedwetting, thumb sucking depending on age)
  • Desensitization to pain high risk play and activities
  • Self abuse

 
It is normal for a child of domestic violence to manifest a multitude of symptoms. Outlined below are some common emotional, cognitive, behavioral, social, and physical effects of abuse experienced by children from violent households.

EMOTIONAL

  • Feel guilty for the abuse for not stopping it
  • Grieve for family and personal losses
  • Confusion about conflicting feelings toward parents
  • Fear of abandonment, or expressing emotions, of the unknown, and/or personal injury
  • Depressed, feeling of helplessness and powerlessness
  • Embarrassed by the effects of abuse and dynamics at home

COGNITIVE

  • Blame others for their own behavior
  • Believe it is acceptable to hit people they care for in order to get what they want, to express their anger, to feel powerful, or to get others to meet their needs
  • Have a low self-concept originating from a sense of family powerlessness
  • Do not ask for what they need, let alone what they want
  • Do not trust
  • Belief: to feel angry is bad, because people get hurt
  • Rigid stereotypes: to be a boy meansÉ to be a girl meansÉ to be a man, woman, husband, wife meansÉ

BEHAVIORAL (Often seen in opposite extremes)

  • Act out vs. withdraw
  • Overachiever vs. underachiever
  • Refusal to go to school
  • Caretaking, more concerned for others that self: parent substitute
  • Aggressive vs. passive
  • Rigid defenses (aloof, sarcastic, defensive, Òblack and whiteÓ thinking)
  • Excessive attention seeking (often using extreme behaviors)
  • Bedwetting and nightmares
  • Out of control behavior, not able to set own limits or follow directions